turkey thanksgiving Food
pumpkin pie brussel sprouts potatoes gravy Relatives Ones you miss Ones you don't miss Friends TWO Kinds OF THANXGIVING At home with your family More stressful possibly more satisfying At your apartment with your friends because you live to far away from your family more booze (depends on you and your friends and/or family) Your neighbors may get mad Something CRAZY might happen More likely to fuck up some of the food More likely to try to cook something crazy Everyone is probably more or less your age Better chances for coupling Bird Food Grown in factories Wild Turkey also the name of alchoholic beverage Has wings Cannot Fly Has Waddle Ugly Feet Ugly Head Ugly Less popular than Chicken President Pardons one turkey each year Many other turkies face a young death Death Most people are afraid of it inevitable natural Skeleton w/ scyth and black robe Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey that Igmar Bergman movie Death anthropormorphised Disease Cancer largely out of your control Bird Flu largely out of your control Accident MURDER Death and Thanksgiving Turkey skeleton with black robe and scyth Choke on your food accident carving the turkey Killing the turkey at the dinner table Ghosts at the dinner table put your head in the stove gas leak -- explosion. Poisened turkey Poisened wine Poisened mashed potatoes Deadly Gravy Food poisoning Terrorists poisening the turkey supply Terrorists bombing the maceys day parade Terrorists having thanksgiving Hostages performing a humble thanksgiving celebration under extreme duress Radioactive turkey bomb in the turkey! Hide the bomb in the mashed potatoes to get through customs Hide the gun in the pie and sneak it into prison Fall into the mashed potatoes, get knocked out, then you drown in the food Pumpkin soup good when spicey